Writing Exercise Four

(Absolutes)

Write two paragraphs describing your journey from home to school but have some sentences contain absolutes. Absolutes are phrases that modify a whole sentence or a noun within that sentence; they take the form: noun plus participle, present or past.

EX: Flags waving, the crowd stormed the fort.

We'll win, God willing.

All forgiven, they came home.

My writing class threatening me, I walked slowly down the hall.

The formula for writing with absolutes is to attach to the main sentence a phrase made up of a partial verb (lacking the auxiliary or "helping" verb) but with a subject. [Sometimes, if the verb is only made up of the "helping" verb, there is no verb at all.]

Here is an example of a simple absolute phrase attached to a main sentence.

The man walked down the hall [main sentence], his hands shaking [partial verb] uncontrollably. [Note: If the phrase had a complete verb (was shaking) it would no longer be a phrase but another sentence.]

Here is an example of an absolute phrase without a verb.

The man walked down the hall, his face in turmoil. [Note: the verb that would make the phrase a sentence ("was") is missing. If it was there, the phrase would be a complete sentence.]

 

A more common use of absolutes, and more effective for descriptions, is to add cinematic detail. If you think of your main sentence as a camera's long shot (the shot that gives the big picture), think of the absolute as the camera's close-ups.

EX: The man walked down the hallway [long shot], his hands trembling, legs wobbling [close ups].

Look at the following sentence. Identify the long and close up shots.

EX: She sat at her desk, her fingers loosely holding the pencil, head drooping, cigarette burning in the ashtray.

Can you arrange this sentence in any other way? Is the sentence more effective if you use the close ups first? What does it mean to you when I ask about a sentence being effective or not? Effective to do what? This is the question that a director would ask about filming a scene. Does the scene have impact if I present the close up shots first? Does the suspense increase by doing this? Or should I use the long shot first so that the audience knows right away who the person is and where she is at? These questions are appropriate for film-makers; why not for writers?

Look at this writer's sentence:

The gate to the chute flew open, and the bull exploded into the arena, a cowbell clanging on its neck, its body twisting, hooves slashing at the air, barely missing two rodeo clowns who stood by the chute behind a rubber barrel.

[Bitteroot by James Lee Burke (pp31-32), NY: Simon and Schuster, 2001]

Identify the absolutes. Notice what a nicely detailed, graphic, picture results from using absolutes.

What more is there to say about absolutes?

Plenty.

Even though many books on writing never mention absolutes at all, I think you will agree with me that absolutes are very valuable, especially in descriptive writing, writing that is so influenced by vision: when we see, we see from many different perspectives. Each time you change your position in relation to anything else, you change your perspective. As you come closer to something, you see more detail. As you go further from it, you see more of the surroundings. While this experience of changing perspective is commonplace, it is not often expressed in writing. Absolutes, however, allow the writer to express this changing perspective within a single sentence. Absolutes allow us to reproduce some of the variability of perspective and different kinds of emphasis we give to detail and surroundings.

Absolutes do more than this, however. When you decide to write with absolutes, you have made a very significant decision whose implications are not at all obvious though they are very important for your development as a writer. Consider this: we seldom speak with absolutes. It would be very unusual to hear someone say a sentence like the kinds reproduced here that students have used in their writings. Repeat out loud one of the sentences containing absolutes. It won't sound much like a sentence you would say; however, it is a very effective written sentence. And for this fact alone, absolutes are important.

When you decide to use absolutes in your writing, you have made a decision to be a Writer rather than a translator. What I mean by "translator" is that your main guide to writing has been how effectively you have translated the speech-based language that goes on in your head into material-based language that ends up on a piece of paper. So much of what we write is just this kind of "translating." But not absolutes.

Absolutes are pure writing. Absolutes are primarily a visual way to get your message across. Absolutes make their impact by appealing to our sense of sight. Again, listen to people talk. Almost never will you hear anyone use an absolute. But look at writing, and you will see absolutes.

When you decide to use absolutes you have made a decision to base your writing on one of writing's essential qualities: writing is material. Writing is something we see. We don't primarily listen to writing: we must first see it. And absolutes are sight-based. Once you use absolutes you have, in effect, crossed the line that separates speech from writing, and you have, in effect, announced that you are a Writer. For this reason, absolutes are extremely important.

Most writers use absolutes very sparingly. When they are over-used, they are less effective than when they are used occasionally. Everything depends on the occasion. Because absolutes are not speech-based, they draw attention to themselves; therefore, the natural place to use them is when you want attention drawn to something. Look at where the student writers use absolutes. They use them in places where there is stress, mystery, emphasis. These are perfect places to use absolutes. Not all of our life is stressful, mysterious, emphatic. But for those times when it is, consider using absolutes to express those experiences.

Go to  Student Examples

Go to Examples of Absolutes by Edwin Way Teale

Return to Exercise Three

Go to Exercise Five

Return to Joe Napora's Homepage

Return to Style Manual