The Anniversary

     Darkness surrounds me as I take the long walk to visit my parents.  The sounds of the leaves crunching beneath my every footstep echo in the cool night air.  The neighborhood is quiet when I arrive, as everyone is resting peacefully.  It is one o'clock in the morning, and I will be here until the sun rises, and again falls.  I take my sleeping bag and pillow from my backpack, and I quietly lay down beside my parents, careful not to disturb them.  The sky is infinitely clear, and I fall asleep under the soft glow of the moonlight, and faint twinkling of the stars.

     The subtle moonlight has faded and been replaced by the bright morning sun.  I am awake, but remain motionless, relishing in the warmth of the sun's rays.  I finally open my eyes to see all the birds responsible for the beautiful music to which I had been listening .  I crawl from my sleeping bag, eager to greet my parents.

     "Good Morning," I say excitedly.  "I have missed you both so much.  I wish I could visit more often, but I'm afraid that would be more than my heart could bear.  I know you understand."

     Looking around at the gorgeous array of flowers, I am thankful for my parent's surroundings.

     "I hope the two of you are proud of your newest grandson; I'm sure you are.  He's wonderful, as are your other three.  They'll know how wonderful both of you were, too," I say tearfully.

     I notice weeds, in spots, outgrowing the flowers, so I take time to groom the lawn.

     "Time sure does fly," I say to my parents as I replace old flowers with new ones.  "It doesn't seem possible that you've been here for eight years, today."

     It had  though, in fact, been eight years since my parents' death.  In September of 1992, they were both diagnosed with cancer, within a week of each other; my mother with lung cancer, and Daddy, with leukemia.  On October 8, 1993, my mother died at 1:15 a.m., and my father, at 10:00 p.m. .

     I finish working, and realize that the sun is slowly fading into the night.  Darkness, once again, is upon me.

     "I was devastated when you left me," I say sadly. " I am still coping day by day with your absence .  I wrote a poem in memory of you both; I'd like to share it with you."

     It's been eight years now since God took you away;

     Not just one of you, but both of you, on the very same day.

     No, it wasn't a bad car wreck, or a freak accident, as I was asked many times.

     Or even something as morbid as, "Did your dad commit suicide after your mother died?"

     I can't blame anyone for asking those questions or even for their disbelief

     When,  in answering, I would have to explain to them that it was the same horrible disease.

     Remembering that you taught me never to question God,

     I painfully had to accept the fact that Mama and Daddy were gone.

     I sometimes still feel anger and pain because I miss you both so much.

     But, it helps to know you're loving me from a place where you are so loved.

     It is now 10:00 p.m., and I say my good-byes, preparing to embark on my journey home.

     "I love you both very much, and I miss you," I say sorrowfully.  "Although your bodies are here, and your souls are there, I will carry your spirits with me."

     Struggling to see through my tear-filled eyes, I gather my backpack, and walk back through the darkness, hoping all the while that next year, maybe next year, my visit will be easier to endure.  

Tina Holley        ENG101-0140           9/26/2001

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